I am so impressed with my fellow neurodivergent folx right now, but I am also angry at the situations we are finding ourselves in. The few resources allotted to us by society have been ripped away at the most inopportune time. Refilling prescriptions takes forever. Obtaining “non-essential” medical care is difficult. Maintaining healthy coping mechanisms is next to impossible.
Many of us are “essential workers;” burning ourselves out feeding other families, watching other parents’ kids, and cleaning up other people’s garbage. We’re so depleted we don’t have the time or energy to do the most basic self care, like cook, clean, or even shower. Then we come home to either empty homes or people who do not understand us.
For those of us who live alone we are even more isolated than ever. The few social ties or support systems we have manged to build are at risk of collapsing. Some of us enjoy being alone too much, and have to actively maintain human connections. With the isolation that comes with a pandemic it is too easy for many of us to fall into old hermit-like habits and isolate ourselves further.
For many of us who live with roommates, partners, or family, we are surrounded by people who do not understand us are who are becoming increasingly frustrated with being in such close proximity to a person displaying symptoms of mental illness. They are sick of our mood swings, our fear, our anger, our annoying coping mechanisms, our erratic behaviors, our insomnia, our apathetic exteriors, and our general inability to be “normal.”
We’re also inundated by neurotypicals with cabin fever claiming they finally “get it” regarding mental health all over social media. Often these neurotypicals even think we’re faring better than them because we’re used to feeling crappy all the time, or because we’re not displaying significantly more outward signs of our conditions.
On top of our personal lives being extra challenging, our bosses, teachers, and coworkers have been less than accommodating. Anytime life becomes more difficult for society in general, neurodivergent and/or disabled folx lose resources first. Schools scrambling to set up remote learning systems are failing students with disabilities left and right. Even though publicly funded educational institutions are legally required to accommodate students with documented disabilities, I can tell you first hand accommodations are not being prioritized or enforced. And companies are laying off the “less productive” employees first, which is just code for disabled or otherwise impaired people.
All this to say that I understand it’s been incredibly difficult for us. But I also know we are doing a pretty fan-fucking-tastic job all things considered. Many of us are still holding down jobs, which was difficult enough before the pandemic. We are somehow motivating ourselves to get out of bed most days. We are staying in school. We are managing – surviving.
And yes, we should demand more than just the ability to survive by shear willpower. But if that’s all we can do in the movement, know that is enough. It is enough to just barely roll out of bed and go to work looking like a hot mess. It is enough to be half-way vertical. It is enough to eat a piece of sliced lunch meat for dinner. Whatever you are doing, it is enough. And it’s okay that the kitchen is a disaster. It’s okay if you didn’t shower for the past three days. It’s okay if you can’t get out of bed today.
Right now, our only job is to survive, and do the best we can for ourselves and each other – whatever that looks like.
Because I Am Human 